At a hastily arranged press conference this morning, the Cough, the Burp, and the Fart finally aired a longstanding grievance that they all have harbored against their friend the Sneeze.
“I just don’t get it,” said the Cough. “We all expel emissions from the body, usually in an involuntarily manner,” he said, while giving a wink to the Burp and the Fart. “I mean, the Sneeze and I practically share the same air. Why do only sneezes bring about blessings from others?”
“Oh, sure. So somebody sneezes and it’s all “Oh God bless you, you poor thing”, but a fart shows up and there’s no well wishes at all. Maybe just a “Gross!” or “You pig!” and then maybe an “OH MY GOD, WHAT DIED IN HERE?”
“I think we burps have it the worst. Nobody ever says anything nice about us. Often, people will start fanning against us as if the smell of half-digested stale hot dog is not a delight for the senses. Sure, sometimes we’re not completely involuntary. But can anybody cough, sneeze, or fart the entire alphabet? I think not. Though I haven’t checked YouTube yet. No offense, guys.”
Historically, scholars believed that evil spirits had a small window of opportunity right after a sneeze to infect a person’s soul. “God Bless You” was an entreaty for divine protection from those spirits. It is believed by these same scholars that early well wishers did not believe any evil spirits would want to slip into a person’s body after a cough, burp, and definitely not a fart.
“If an evil spirit chose to enter a person after a fart, well, then they’d get what they deserve.”
Wow, I never realized how unfair life treated those guys.
Oh, come on, the Cough, the Burp, and the Fart can’t speak ……
Um, never mind.
So are ya saying that the is the favorite child of the expelled air. Wonder which of the three is the middle child
Garlic Breath didn’t get an invitation – and it is pissed.