The central rule in life is that if you’re a man, you’re doing something wrong. It’s like when you drop something from a building–it always falls down, not up. If you’re born male, you are automatically screwing up. That’s a basic law of nature.
The other day I grabbed this book from the freebie shelf at the grocery store. Note how the faded price tag is covering the guy’s face, ruining the picture. See? He’s already screwing up.
I browsed through the book to find out what I was doing wrong. I landed on a section called Learning To Spot The Danger Signals. And I saw this:
* He always drives.
Well, I drive, but I also bike and walk a lot. So maybe I’m pretty good after all. I’m starting to think that I’m like an adorable little puppy at the shelter that’s just waiting to be rescued.
I didn’t read much of the rest but I did notice something on the back cover. The top endorsement read:
“Want to get your man committed? Read this book!” – Boston Herald
That’s what they ask family members before involuntary psychiatric commitment to prevent a suicide. I know we’re not perfect, but c’mon.
Imagine a relationship consisting of two men. We may be wrong, but neither one of us knows it.
We’re all committed to never being right
Committed? Can’t they just get divorced or just break up?
I browse through the book of Jill Y to see where I’ve gone wrong and it ain’t no small book either!