In my latest book signing announcement, I included this:
My last book signing of the year, and probably the winter, is this Saturday, and I’d like everyone to attend. Everyone in the world. Yep, all seven billion of you. Except you, that guy with the blue coat in Apsheronsk. You’re a little creepy.
Don’t worry, there’s plenty of free parking along Main Street in Kendallville, although some of you might consider carpooling …
Remember, every time you don’t go to my book signings, a butterfly in the Amazon flaps its wings. Don’t cause a hurricane.
Now, I don’t really expect everyone in the whole world to attend, but I figure–who’s going to be keeping count? But I hope nobody researches the butterfly issue.
If I leave the blue coat at home and wear the black one, can I attend?
Well … okay ….
Where the hell is Kendallville? And how am I supposed to get there? I trust that you’re going to send stretch limos out to fetch all of us?
Kendallville is about a half hour drive north of Fort Wayne, Indiana. I’m surprised you never heard of it, it’s the source of … um … okay, maybe I’m not that surprised.
You’d be shocked how much it costs to hire seven billion stretch limos.