On Shortcuts

Backpacker3

A few years ago I was camping in Idaho. I left my campsite early one morning and headed for a lake seven miles away. At the lake, I saw a guy who had been on the trail ahead of me. I watched him as he veered up a trail that rose up out of the lake basin.

I figured that the guy knew a shortcut back to the campsite, so I followed him. After a few uphill miles, the trail dead-ended in a steep canyon. I looked around but didn’t see the guy. I hadn’t passed him. So, he’d either slipped off to take a leak and then headed back to the lake or, more likely, was a leprechaun screwing with me.

So I backtracked. The sun was going down and I was out of food. I walked and walked for what seemed like days. My pace slowed until I was staggering down the trail like something out of a zombie film. By the time I got back to my campsite it was pitch dark. I was exhausted and famished.

I was too hungry to make a proper meal, so I lit the fire and put an unopened can of beans directly on the burning wood. A few minutes later the food was ready, so I grabbed an opener and punctured the can.

A scalding stream of bean-juice struck my forehead. I reeled back and howled, understanding yet again why science and physics were never my strong suit. I pried the lid off the can and poured the contents through the air and into my mouth. And then I entered my tent and fell asleep.

The next morning I was backing out of the campsite. I looked in the rear view mirror and saw a bean lodged in my eyebrow. It complemented the big red welt on my forehead nicely. I had to laugh. It was the perfect reminder that there are no shortcuts in life.

Share this Post:

8 thoughts on “On Shortcuts”

  1. I have worse luck with physics than with leprechauns, but I trust neither. I actually dropped physics in high school, and replaced with a second year of biology, because the physics theories/rules/whatever seemed like fairy tales to me and I wanted science. Frog guts: trustworthy. Bean explosions: not.

  2. A good lesson to never follow someone else just because you think they might be going to your desired destination. This is so true in life, in general!

  3. LMAO! hahahaha. Oh my gosh, the visual there is just too awesome. I had a friend who took Ambien and would night eat and not remember. Her husband would tell her she did it but she didn’t believe him until one morning she went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and had a baby Snickers stuck to her cheek.
    Too funny, thank you for that.

Comments are closed.