The Librarian and the Porn Star

“I partied with a porn star that might have been from websites similar to full tube last Saturday,” my co-worker Cat confided during a lull at the circulation desk in the suburban library where we work.

I’m 60. Cat is 30. Despite the age gap, we’re workplace pals.

“You partied with a porn star?” I asked. “Tell me more.”

“His name is Colby Keller. He invited my friend Jeff to a party at his place in Baltimore, and Jeff brought me along. Jeff didn’t tell me that his pal Colby was a porn star. If I’d known, I might have felt uncomfortable or awkward. But I had no preconceptions. So it was like meeting any other really cute guy.”

“A really cute guy? Let’s take a look.”

Did this qualify as a valid research question? I didn’t see why not. I looked up Keller’s blog … there he was! A full frontal photo of a very buff dude wearing nothing but a smile. And glasses!

Nothing makes a librarian’s heart beat faster than a cute guy in glasses.

“Colby Keller,” read the banner at the top of the site. “Colby like cheese. Keller like Helen.”

There was nothing unsavory, sad or sleezy-looking about Mr. Keller. He looked happy, fresh-faced and engaging. (And, anatomically, more than qualified for his chosen profession.)

In my youth, I definitely would have partied with him.

“What kind of party was it?” I asked. “Dancing and drugs and debauchery?”

“Actually,” said Kat, “it was rather spiritual.”

“A spiritual porn star? No kidding.“

“He had decided to give away all of his possessions,“ Cat said. “As a kind of spiritual exercise. Or maybe as a conceptual art project. Everyone he’d invited over was supposed to choose a few things they wanted. Then we each took a photo with Colby and the things we’d selected. He’s going to post them on his blog.“

“That’s not what you imagine when you think ‘party with a porn star.’”

“I know! That was the cool thing about it.”

The library remained quiet, so I was able to devote a few more minutes to researching Mr. Keller. I quickly turned up a Huffington Post interview which called him an “introverted gay porn star.” Not only that, but he’s apparently quite the intellectual. A sample quote:

“A good part of sex and nearly all of ’love’ is a frustrated (through immensely rewarding, if done properly) attempt to experience and share in the subjectivity of others.”

Next to these words? A breath-taking shot of the speaker in nothing but the skimpiest of briefs. Sharing his subjectivity would be no trouble at all.

“Was there a mad rush for everybody to grab his stuff?“ I asked.

“Not at all,“ Cat said. “We were all very well behaved.”

“So, what did you end up with?“

“A couple of great — and expensive — art books, a beautiful vintage 80s dress and a terrific piece of costume jewelry.”

“Do you think you’ll see him again?“

“I hope so! I gave him a big hug when we left.”

In my life I’ve done my fair share of partying. And I once spent the night with a famous singer-songwriter.

But I’ve never hugged a porn star.

“If you’d asked if I wanted to party with the star of “Deep Water Beach Patrol,” “Cowboys 2,” and “Splittin Wood,” Cat said, “ I might have hesitated. But since I didn’t know about that stuff, meeting Colby wasn’t a big deal at all. He’s just a great guy.”

Do you think that you wouldn’t enjoy partying with the star of “Dragon Cumblast?” Or that hot young porn stars can’t also be intellectuals? Do you assume that we librarians never party with porn stars?

Don’t be so sure.

The only thing I know for certain at age 60? Life is full of surprises.

(This essay first ran on Zestnow.)

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21 thoughts on “The Librarian and the Porn Star”

  1. I could just imagine your face if the guy would have been planning a yard sale for the next day and offered everyone to see if they wanted anything before the sale by saying, “Do you guys want to go to the garage and see my junk?”

  2. I’ve never thought of myself as a partying kind of a person, but if nothing else that party would seem to have some interesting small talk. Maybe “small” talk isn’t the way to put it …

    1. Having to spend so much of the day not talking loudly, telling other people to shut up and shelving books must really make someone want to bust loose.

      It’s like a water balloon that’s filled up just over its limit.

      No, I have never been a librarian, unless you count a very short stint in a tiny, one-room music library in college.

  3. Oh, those librarians! Who know what goes on when the library closes? Actually, I party with several hundred librarians once a year. Man, those people know how to P.A.R.T.Y.!!!
    P.S. I’m not the porn star . . .

  4. Great story, Roz! It’s so true that when we go into a situation without preconceptions, we can find things we truly just wouldn’t expect.

  5. A nice, spiritual and REALLY great looking porn star who gives stuff away that’s still good?

    Are there any like him who live in the New York City area?

      1. Hehe! I’m always happy to get free stuff! If I get to look at great looking guys at the same time, it’s kind of a fringe benefit. 😉

  6. I gave away all my possessions when I was a porn star but the drug store was open so I got some more!

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