So unless your part of an early morning raid or a sudden emergency, me thinks that the news folks call you up and ask if they can come and talk to you. Once you agree, they probably give you an approximate time when they will show up to PUT YOU ON CAMERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you don’t know this story, Joe Russell and his honey-bun had a wedding planned. He lost his job, the mother-in-law lost her deposit on the wedding hall, on and on, and on. And, like MOST of young-and-in-love couples who fall on hard times early in their marriage, they planned a few date-nights TO CLIMB TELEPHONE POLES AND STEAL COPPER WIRE!!!!!!
(By the way, they got $18 for their copper efforts.)
But whatever, whatever, cuz, the day the news crew shows up to get a statement from Joe, he seems to not be able to find a shirt, not even a DIRTY ONE crumpled in the bottom of a hamper! Oh, and he can’t find a comb either. Now, we’re not only forced to hear his hard-luck excuse, but we’re forced to watch those 12 hairs in the middle of his chest, dance in the wind WHILE he tells the story. (Thank God she didn’t ask him to do jumping jacks!)
Hey, I’m no “Ken Dolls” but, if the news showed up at the Ya Jagoff World Headquarters, I gotta tell ya, I wouldn’t even answer the door until I put on one of my nicer free 5K shirts and a ball cap!
Joe, the news pic of you and the Mrs. coming out of the church all dressed up and married is AWESOME. Unfortunately, that mental image was washed away out of our minds when we were flushing our eyeballs out with rubbing alcohol after seeing you shirtless on the news. Maybe the crime you SHOULD have committed was STEALING YOUR WEDDING TUX so you had some clothes for your 15-minutes of fame.
Hey guy, “How about the next time you’re interviewed on TV, you put a shirt on, Ya Jagoff!”
The fact that most criminals are complete idiots is the only thing standing between the world and chaos.