The Other Thanksgiving Turkey

Lately I’ve been driving a car cross-country. I left Hartford, Connecticut last Tuesday and my goal has been to arrive in Seattle the day before Thanksgiving. It’s been a glorious trip with excellent driving weather. Among many other things, I’ve seen an awesome tall grass prairie outside the lovely town of Manhattan Kansas. And I survived a bar breaking away from the shower wall as I pulled myself out of a tub somewhere in the dreary, beleaguered state of Ohio. I could’ve ended up spending Days Inn the hospital after that.

Someone up there is looking out for me.

But I’ve been moving, like a trucker facing a shipping deadline. At a coffee shop in a funky section of Kansas City, Missouri I mentioned my travel plans to a friendly, enquiring barista.

“Dang,” the guy said with a grin, “You need to buy a CB radio and get yourself a trucker handle.”

“I’ve considered that, ” I replied, “My handle would be Handel, the classical music composer. That way I could I tell guys ‘roll it easy brother trucker, I’ve got your Bach.”

So on Friday night I called my wife. I was seated in the La-Z Boy recliner shown above (photo courtesy of Discover Colby, Kansas) as I told her my plans:

“Saturday I’ll drive from Colby to Cheyenne. Sunday I’ll tackle Cheyenne to Boise. And Monday I’ll do Boise to Seattle. And that’ll put  me in Monday night, the day before Thanksgiving.”

Like a kid with a gold ribbon, I was so proud of myself. 1500 miles in 3 days was nothing for a driver of my caliber. My planning and discipline was paying off and I was gonna make the holiday.

There was a pause on the line. Then my wife chuckled and said “Uh, you know, Thanksgiving isn’t until Thursday.”

Staring at bad art on the wall of a barren room, all I could do was laugh. Maybe it was time to pick up that Lionel Richie disk I’d been eyeing at the Truckers Of America travel plaza. Cuz the rest of this trip was gonna be easy, like Sunday morning.