The Phoenix rises from the pee sea | HumorOutcasts

The Phoenix rises from the pee sea

September 24, 2014
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It’s been several months since I’ve posted to my favorite humor site, but I’m back and better than ever. A lot has happened in the past few months, including, but not limited to:

  • Starting a new job making a crap-load of money
  • Getting pseudo-fired from that job for being “incompetent, not able to follow the simple commands of a dog”
  • Waking up Ruffle drunk with a chip stuck to my face
  • Admiring moomoos at the Bealls department store
  • Starting a new job making crap
  • Being revered at the new job as “that new girl”
  • Crying in my wine and picking my toenails
  • Being baby-shaken by the Universe back to reality
  • Realizing that sometimes it’s OK to shake a baby
  • Becoming immensely inspired by the sea of mediocrity that I was floating face down in
  • Peeing in the sea of mediocrity and crawling my way out
  • Taking a shower and putting on actual clothes
  • Repurposing my one book idea into four books with a purpose
  • Not crying in my wine or picking my toenails

So as you can see, I’ve been really busy. I really missed this place and look forward to filling my mind with the humor of all the great writers here, and possibly stealing all your ideas. Not really. I don’t need to be shaken by the Universe again. I got the message.

Journey McGuire

When I’m not MMA street fighting, I’m saving kittens from sinking battleships. Writing is the only thing that matters. Besides sleeping, eating, kittens. But not eating sleeping kittens. That would be upsetting.

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2 Responses to The Phoenix rises from the pee sea

  1. September 25, 2014 at 1:58 am

    Ah, the old Ruffle drunk leads to book inspiration thing. So great, missed your wit.

  2. September 24, 2014 at 8:36 pm

    So happy to have you back! We did miss you!



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