The Phoenix rises from the pee sea

It’s been several months since I’ve posted to my favorite humor site, but I’m back and better than ever. A lot has happened in the past few months, including, but not limited to:

  • Starting a new job making a crap-load of money
  • Getting pseudo-fired from that job for being “incompetent, not able to follow the simple commands of a dog”
  • Waking up Ruffle drunk with a chip stuck to my face
  • Admiring moomoos at the Bealls department store
  • Starting a new job making crap
  • Being revered at the new job as “that new girl”
  • Crying in my wine and picking my toenails
  • Being baby-shaken by the Universe back to reality
  • Realizing that sometimes it’s OK to shake a baby
  • Becoming immensely inspired by the sea of mediocrity that I was floating face down in
  • Peeing in the sea of mediocrity and crawling my way out
  • Taking a shower and putting on actual clothes
  • Repurposing my one book idea into four books with a purpose
  • Not crying in my wine or picking my toenails

So as you can see, I’ve been really busy. I really missed this place and look forward to filling my mind with the humor of all the great writers here, and possibly stealing all your ideas. Not really. I don’t need to be shaken by the Universe again. I got the message.

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