1-year-old: *walks in with a handful of Pringles* Me: You can’t have those for breakfast. 1: *hands me one* Me: I didn’t see anything.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 14, 2014
Me: *walks in the room* *sees blanket tangled on the chandelier* What happened?! 3-year-old: Nothing. Sounds legit.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 14, 2014
3-year-old: Is it morning yet? Me: Is the sun up? 3: No Me: Am I out of bed? 3: No Me: What’s that tell you? 3: Can I watch Star Wars?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 14, 2014
Every woman has a prince charming, but for some of you he’s 25 cats.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 14, 2014
3-year-old: Dad, did you bring me money? M: Why would I give you money? 3: I need a horse Well, as long as it’s for something reasonable.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 14, 2014