1-year-old daughter: *throws a fit* Me: What’s she mad about? Wife: Being awake. I get it, kid. I get it.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 24, 2014
I’m devastated I didn’t get invited to Kim Kardashian’s wedding. After all, she only gets married once a year.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 24, 2014
Me: Drop the beat. Wife: *beat boxes* Me: *raps “Cat in the Hat”* I feel bad for my kids. They’re still too young to be ashamed of us.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 24, 2014
3-year-old:*hits me in the face with a ball* Me: OW 3: Think fast! Me: You’re supposed to say that before you throw it 3: You think slow
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 24, 2014
Caveman: I killed a mammoth Cavewoman: Meh Him: I invented fire Her: So? Him: I found a useless shiny rock for you Her:*has his babies*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 24, 2014
How I love these little vignettes, especially shiny rock = babies with him. Of course getting under the mammoth covers with a cozy fire might have something to do with it. A piece of quartz was just the tipping point.