4-year-old: I made a tornado. It put you in Canada. Me: That doesn’t make sense. 4: I can’t hear you. You’re in Canada.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 20, 2014
2-year-old: Dad. Me: 2: Dad! Me: 2: DADDY! Me: What?! 2: There’s a squirrel outside. Apparently I’m raising a golden retriever.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 20, 2014
2-year-old: *puts teddy bear beside me on the couch* Me: Is he going to watch football with me? 2: You should move. He doesn’t like you.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 21, 2014
4-year-old: I’m the line leader at daycare. Me: That’s nice. 4: You work for me now.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 20, 2014
Me: Want to ride a pony? 4-year-old: I don’t know. Do they have anything else to ride? Me: Like what? 4: A shark.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 20, 2014
From http://t.co/RcDTQy3VFN 3/27/14: pic.twitter.com/VN5ztn6FDo
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) September 12, 2014