Me: Time to get out of bed. 4-year-old: Why? At the end of the day, I’ll just get back in it. Me: 4: Me: *goes back to bed*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 9, 2014
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 9, 2014
4-year-old daughter: Why do boys grow taller than girls? Me: Genetics. 4: I think it’s because girls were too busy growing bigger brains.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 9, 2014
Me: I told you to only eat one piece of candy. 4-year-old: I ate one. Then one. And then one again. Me: That’s three. 4: Math is cheating
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 10, 2014
Me: Will you take Mommy’s phone to her downstairs? 2-year-old: OK. *throws Mommy’s phone down the stairs*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 9, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyr8D7T 4/16/14: pic.twitter.com/XF0tfJDoFP
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) October 3, 2014