Me: You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Do you know what that means?
4-year-old: Horses are stupid.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 30, 2014
4-year-old: I don’t want a pony for Christmas this year.
Me: I’m glad you’re finally being reasonable.
4: I want six.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 30, 2014
Life is too short to hold grudges.
That’s why I hired people to carry on my grudges after I die.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 30, 2014
4-year-old: My teacher said everyone is beautiful.
Me: That’s right.
4: I don’t think she meant you.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 30, 2014
2-year-old: *sees a skinned rabbit on Food Network* Where’s his fur?
Me:
2:
Me:
2:
Me: He sent it to the dry cleaner.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 30, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyrZqw5 6/6/14: pic.twitter.com/g9x0aCLZia
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) November 25, 2014