4-year-old: What’s a baby goat called?
Me: A kid.
4:
Me:
4:
Me:
4: Why do people come from goats?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2014
I know more money won’t solve my problems.
I just want to have the same problems in a bigger house.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2014
Me: Does everything I do annoy you?
Wife: Just the way you eat & breathe.
Me: So the stuff that keeps me alive?
Wife: Cut that shit out.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2014
4-year-old: I killed a fly!
Me: Good job.
4: *sees another fly* HE CAME BACK TO LIFE!
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2014
Me: Am I handsome?
Wife: Do you mean to me or to someone who doesn’t know what a human is supposed to look like?
Me:
Wife: Either way, no
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2014