4 y.o: I used the potty. Can I have a treat? Me: No. You always go in the potty 4: I can stop Me: Apparently I negotiate with terrorists
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2014
I’m not saying I hate people. I’m just pointing out that if “Planet of the Apes” really happens, I’ll side with the chimps.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2014
4-year-old daughter: I want to be an astronaut! Me: You get scared when I drive the car too fast. 4: I’ll only ride slow rockets.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2014
I had to come up with a way to stop my 4-year-old from playing in the koi pond. Now she thinks goldfish are piranhas.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2014
4-year-old: Daddy, are you a bad driver? Me: I had the right of way! Wife: It was a mailbox.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 28, 2014