My 4-year-old threw a 30-minute fit because the drawstrings on her hood were uneven. My life is basically an ad for birth control.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 26, 2014
My 2-year-old looked at me very sternly and said, “Don’t fall in the potty.” I don’t know if I can keep that promise.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2014
Me: Look at those big buildings in the distance. They look small. 2-year-old: Can I eat them? I’m raising Godzilla.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2014
2-year-old: I want my teddy bear! Me: Then go get it. 2: I’m too busy! She leads a full life.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2014
http://www.amazon.com/A-Canines-Guide-Good-Life/dp/0615792170/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409057201&sr=8-1&keywords=A+Canine%27s+Guide+to+the+Good+Life
By: Scazon
I couldn’t find a tissue, so I blew my nose in a clean diaper. I’m basically MacGyver.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2014
