4-year-old daughter: These shoes are slippery. They make me fall. Me: Then why do you wear them? 4: They’re pretty. She’s already a woman
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 12, 2014
Me: I told you to clean up your Legos. 4-year-old: I did. Me: Then why are they all over the floor? 4: There was a tornado.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 12, 2014
By: Martin Brigden Me: Be good and I’ll give you a Fudgsicle 4-year-old: Give me a Fudgsicle or I’ll be bad Positive reinforcement is no match for blackmail.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 13, 2014
My 4-year-old threw a fit because she doesn’t have an evil twin. Her good twin definitely does.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 12, 2014
Me: I keep experiencing these weird things in my chest. Doctor: They’re called feelings. Me: MAKE THEM STOP.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 13, 2014