4-year-old: Can we trade in the baby for a dolphin? Me: No. 4: But a dolphin can do way more tricks! She makes a valid point.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 5, 2014
Me: Did you eat my candy? 4-year-old: No. Me: Why is your face covered in chocolate? 4: Me: 4: Can you leave while I think of a reason?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 5, 2014
How to know if you should stay at a party: Is there free food? If “no”: Leave. If “yes”: Eat all the food. Then leave.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 5, 2014
Social life status: I didn’t tell my 4-year-old about her friend’s birthday party so I wouldn’t have to spend 2 hours talking to other dads.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 6, 2014
4-year-old: Can we get a dog? Me: We have a dog. 4: No, a better dog that talks and solves mysteries. Me: 4: Me: Let’s check the pound.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 5, 2014
Talks and solves mysteries??? And here I thought I had the perfect dog.