Following its decision to not release The Interview, Sony Pictures is taking further steps to placate the emotional needs and insecurities of the North Korean government. Documents obtained by the entertainment website Inside Addition reveal that Sony is attempting to buffer against future hack-attacks by changing the ending to its new film Fury.
Set in 1945 Europe, the film follows an army sergeant named Wardaddy (Brad Pitt) who leads a crew on a deadly mission behind enemy lines. Outnumbered and outgunned, Wardaddy and his men face overwhelming odds in their heroic attempts to strike at the heart of Nazi Germany.
As with most war movies made in America, the Americans prove victorious in the original version. But in the newly reworked version the American troops are stalked by a fearless shadow-warrior know as The Kim Jong Unabomber. Stealthy and daring, he is unlike anything the Allied forces have ever encountered.
In the climatic scene the Americans are hours away from victory. But then Wardaddy opens a letter from home and is blown to bits. The KJ Unabomber leaps out from his hiding place in the latrine and shouts “Who’s your wardaddy now??”
The movie ends with Wardaddy’s terrified and dispirited men running back to Paris. When one of the sprinting soldiers shouts “I thought these colors don’t run!!” his buddy looks back over his shoulder and retorts “They do in a Sony movie.”
I mean, what’s next, a recall on all James Bond movies? Erasing the 24 TV series? A politically correct version of Homeland? It’s called a sense of humor. Grow one, North Korea. You’re way out of practice. Oppression? Plenty of experience.
Rewriting History for Fun and Profit. 😉
I don’t think they need an ending. Brad Pitt plays a dude called Wardaddy! That’s plenty reason for everyone to watch it. Seriously, if you’re name is Wardaddy, you have my undiluted attention!
Perfect!
You nailed that last line.