A recent ABC News/Washington Post poll has Hillary Clinton leading all of the top Republican presidential candidates by at least 13 points. But the poll didn’t consider one serious contender – Donald Trump. Trump recently spoke at the Freedom Summit in Iowa, where he pledged to build an effective fence along the southern border.
“The fence could be done at a very reasonable cost,” Trump told Daily Mail Online, “and nobody would be able to penetrate that fence.”
Trump’s idea is pretty sharp due to the cost-saving nature of the construction materials. According to the article the fence will be thirty feet high, twenty feet thick, and will be made entirely out of piss-yellow hair. And it will have some very innovative security features. It’ll smell just like a stray dog that hasn’t been washed in years, making it impossible to stand near. Lathered in jell, the wall will be impossible to scale for anyone who tries to combover (I think the reporter meant “come over”) the top. And if you’re dumb enough to try to go through the hair-wall, you’ll be met by millions of little lice.
I don’t know about you, but I’d never try to penetrate something that nasty.
He would, of course, have to move the populations of places like El Paso and Tijuana to other housing, away from the hideous border fence. Trump Tower might be a good place to start. 😉
Brilliant. And we could use illegal Mexican immigrants to paint the wall.
I do feel badly for the squirrels. That wall with all that gel will definitely hinder their travel!
Throw in his grating privileged voice, massively amplified, blaring through the hair, and it’s a done deal. No living creature would venture near.
It’d look like an underwater deal where the seaweed flutters, but with voice noise moving hair. excellent addition!
Oh Donald’s ideas do trump everyone else, right. I think he also assured everyone that he would single handedly (maybe it was hairedly) defeat ISIS. So there’s that.Great post!
Thanks Cathy!