http://gty.im/73910087
“Cocks not Glocks!”
University of Texas students are protesting the recent signing of open carry on campuses law signed by Governor Abbott by staging an open carry of dildos on the Texas campus.
The movement, started by UT student, Jennifer Jin, known by her friend as Jen Jin says “We’ve got our holsters. We’ve got our rubber cocks and if the governor says it’s right to carry pistols, we damn sure are going to open carry rubber dicks until they’re sick.”
Jennifer is modeling a leopard skin shoulder dildo holster. She says “We’re not pleased at all the governor and the legislature believes we want to see guns on our campus. They may not happy we’re open carrying rubber cocks. As far as I know, no mass murder has ever been carried out with rubber cocks. Even the Rabbit 3000 isn’t enough to make students hide under their desk.”
To readers unfamiliar with term “dildo” while someone else is reading this story to you, “dildo” is not the money you buy pickles with. It is an inter vaginal device purchased for the purposes of pleasure, sometimes with batteries included.
What do you hope to accomplish with your “Cocks not Glocks” campaign, Jennifer? “First we want to shame the governor. Let him know we’re unhappy with his disregard of our lives. Secondly, we want anyone who tries to carry a Glock on our campus to know there’s an army of dildo carrying chicks ready to attack you, subdue you, whip you with rubber cocks and strip you of your gun. We’re chicks with dicks taking away your fire sticks.”
Wow, that sounds aggressive, maybe even effective. If this works, will there be celebratory orgies… er … I mean parties and … uh… will members of this writing staff be invited?
This is heartening. I’m getting good vibrations.
Time to get a grip on this problem. 🙂
Couldn’t resist that headline. Good one. (And that list of tags is almost as entertaining as the piece itself.)