Congress Calls Emergency Session, Passes Bipartisan Bill To Provide Thoughts, Prayers For Victims Of Next 12 Mass Shootings

Courage

Courage

In the wake of yet another tragic mass shooting in America, the United States Congress called an emergency session of both houses and put aside political tensions to bravely pass legislation that will finally make a difference in this cycle of violence. Years of gridlock melted away as members unanimously took a courageous stand to address these regular outbreaks of violence. The House of Representatives and the Senate crafted similar but competing versions of the measure. The House bill specified a desire for thoughts and prayers for the victims of the next 15 mass shootings, and the Senate bill called for thoughts and prayers for only the victims of the next 10 mass shootings, but both bills were reconciled after some spirited yet not quite heated debate. The agreed upon number in the final version was set to provide thoughts and prayers for the next twelve incidences of mass violence. The members weighed the gravity of the situation and decided to proceed with dignity in the spirit of compromise for the good of the nation.

Several members made comments that they wished to remain off the record in the great Congressional tradition of avoiding any appearance of grandstanding.

“This just shows that the public trust in us is not misplaced. We did not disappoint this time.”

“I’m honored to be a part of this lawmaking body. There was a difficult issue before us, and we put aside our differences and behaved like men. Well, you know, except for the women.”

“This is a testament to what can happen when all sides sit and really listen to each other instead of just simply dismissing positions out of hand. Today I’m proud to say that due to our courage, the next hundred or so victims of violence will not go unthought of or unprayed for.”

With this brave action, the two houses are not yet finished. Tomorrow, all members will reconvene and “try to maybe do something with lowering the flag for a few days or something.”

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