The internet blew up this week as two llamas busted loose in Arizona. The full-on Llama Drama reached an almost OJ-Bronco-chase fever pitch complete with memes and near llama hysteria.
With so many people jumping on the llama bandwagon, I feel it necessary to point out that I have been a llama enthusiast since I saw Dr. Doolittle. The first one. You know…back in the day. That’s just how cool I am. I was into llamas before they were the animal du jour, okay? I even had one of those inflatable pool toys with two llama heads ala Push-Me-Pull-You from the movie. Ask my husband; I’ve begged him for years to let me start an alpaca ranch.
Husband: Why the hell would we want to raise alpacas?
Me: Unlimited sweaters?
Husband: You don’t even knit.
Me: I’ll learn.
Husband: We’re not raising alpacas and we’re not getting a llama. You’re out of your mind.
He’s not wrong. I am kinda nuts. But before the dream died, I spent some time considering possible names for my possible long-necked, shaggy, hissy friends. And now that llamas have found a mass audience, I think we can all benefit from what I came up with. There’s something for every llama lover out there.
1. Dolly Llama (for country music fans)
2. Obama Llama (for Politicos)
3. Osama Bin Llama (because terrorism seems to be all the rage these days)
4. Llama Rama Ding Dong (for the 50s music lover in you)
5. Llama Del Rey (this llama got a lot of hits on YouTube and then bombed on SNL)
6. Lady Ma-Llama (llamas at your feet…)
7. Lorenzo Llamas (the Latin Lover llama)
8. Drama Llama (think James Lipton, but hairier.)
9. Pajama Llama (Victoria’s Secret runway llamas)
10. Ca-llama-ty Jane (the loose cannon of the pack)
11. Llama McDonald (fast Food maven. No clowning around)
12. Nation of Isllama (from whom all llamas descend)
13. Llama Turner (bombshell llama)
14. Dalai Llama (total enlightnment)
15. Bahama Llama (so exotic)