Meditation Mayhem

IMAG1391Today Madam revealed her new summer hobby—meditation. Though it seemed like a peaceful endeavor, she claimed it had been anything but peaceful. In her words, the two Hairball Pets had turned her 30-minutes of refreshment into a domestic shorthair circus act.

“So, tell me, how much meditation mayhem can two petite hairballs hatch?” I queried.

“You’re right about the mayhem part,” she retorted tartly. “These two have wreaked havoc on everything from my Mac keyboard to my inner essence!”

I could see this was going to require some counseling on my part.

The trouble began when Madam purchased an online Deepak Chopra meditation titled Manifesting True Success. She envisioned sitting quietly in front of her computer caressed by soothing music and calming reflection. At least the concept sounded good.

“I had just begun day two of the series, when a deafening crash and tinkling glass ascended from the kitchen,” she recalled. The Fluff Muffin cat nudged a Pyrex bowl full of strawberries off the counter.”

“I’m surprised to learn that cats like strawberries,” I remarked encouragingly.

“This cat does not like strawberries,” she clarified, “but he does like my undivided attention. Meanwhile, the exploding pyrex alerted the Jack Russell terrier who launched a high-speed cat chase through the house.”

I assumed that ended Madam’s day two’s meditation experience —I’m here to bring more love into the world.

Then came day four’s reflection —I Gain Lightness and Energy from My Body. The cat must have felt he had unfinished business to attend to. He waited for the soft bell to ring and parked his derriere on Madam’s Mac keyboard. This set off an array of unhelpful sounds.

Nonetheless, Madam calmly removed the cat from her desk and resumed day four’s exercise. Next, the cat hurled a real hairball on the freshly cleaned Oriental rug. So, it was off to the laundry room for a bottle of Nature’s Miracle pet stain remover.

At this interlude, the JR commenced to yowl at an old Labrador retriever tottering past the front window. The list of discordant notes continued to grow, as the JR shared a few thoughts with the elderly dog.

“So, what happened next?” I asked cautiously.

“What happened next was a refreshingly silent pause in the Hairball Pet action,” she said. “I was able to get through days six and seven in blessed silence.” She felt that the Hairballs had finally come to their senses.

Unfortunately Madam’s observation came too early. On day eight, after releasing the mantra Aieem Namah, she stood up, stretched, and opened her eyes to behold a startling site. The JR had quietly emptied the contents of Madam’s down-filled bed pillows throughout the house.

“Well, you’ll have to admit, at least one of the Hairballs learned the meaning of playing quietly,” I assured her.

“Indeed,” said Madam with a small sigh. “I wonder if Chuck and Dons sells training meditations for small pets.

 

 

 

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