North Koreans Push Doomsday Insult Clock Closer to Midnight

Name calling experts at the Pentagon are warning that North Korea’s continued verbal attacks on the US could escalate into a global conflict that hurts feelings all over the planet.

The North Korean’s recently hurled the epithet “loser” at President Obama, their most powerful verbal bomb to date. The missile was in response to Obama’s comment that North Korea “is the most cut-off nation on earth,” a relatively low impact slur.

Last month North Korea called Obama a “monkey” in retaliation for his support of the movie The Interview which they see as highly charged.

Analysts fear that the North Koreans are ratcheting up the war of words, and could ultimately launch a verbal weapon of mass destruction.

“We have proof from satellite images that the military regime has been building a middle finger insult for some years in violation of global name calling treaties,” said a Pentagon source who requested anonymity. “Our fear is that they have finally perfected the affront.”

According to the analyst, North Korea’s generals have been itching to hurl intercontinental abuse at the US since 2008, when they were humiliated by the failure of an offensive gesture. The gesture, a rude facial expression accompanied by an even ruder noise, fell completely flat, and the country was hit by a barrage of cruel jokes and unkind phrases from the international community.

Since then the regime has aimed a series of high-explosive smears at Americans, each one more powerful than the one before. These include the “hideous lantern jaw” slight lobbed at Secretary of State John Kerry, and the heat-seeking Presidential aspersions “dirty fellow” with “unclean blood” it detonated recently.

“They have never forgiven the world for being disgraced when their much-publicized middle finger weapon test failed miserably in 2008,” the analyst said. “Now they have a working middle finger pointed right at the US.”

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