The Economic Stimulus No One Is Talking About

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Sorry for the cheesy headline. But have you noticed the trend of adding “no one is talking about” to web-content headlines? The reader is supposed to think “Damn, if no one’s discussing it, this article must be really unique and insightful.” But if you’re like me, you think “Well, you’re talking about it, so technically both you and your headline are wrong.”

I think I’m having a Rain Man moment. So let’s just move along.

Economists and other federal officials use a variety of techniques to counter a recession. They lower interest rates to spur borrowing. Or the Federal Reserve purchases assets like Treasury securities to inject money into the economy. But there’s one tool they don’t use, but should – the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms.

No one is talking about this.

The other day I read that the ATF is considering banning armor-piercing bullets for the obvious reason that it hates the 2nd Amendment (that and the bullets can penetrate police Kevlar vests). And what happened when the story got out? Americans went on a frenzied spending spree, snapping up the ammunition.

So picture this: A recession hits early next year. The Federal Reserve uses all the traditional tools at its disposal, but growth remains sluggish. So they call up the ATF chief and tell him to float a story that the agency will start banning wine.

Trader Joes gets cleaned out in a day. The economy ticks up.

But that doesn’t do quite enough, so the Fed calls up the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Pretty soon there’s a rumor spreading like wildfire that Ford Escalades will be banned.

Tensions escalate. Sales quickly soar. And the economy gets back on track.

America is drowning in fear and people mistrust their government. That fear and mistrust could become an awesome economic tool if it’s used responsibly.

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7 thoughts on “The Economic Stimulus No One Is Talking About”

  1. Whoa, whoa, whoa here! I just committed to planting your presidential campaign yard signs and now I find out you’re pro-anti-chianti? Not cool, man.

  2. Dude. You have become ferociously on point of late. Right now, you and Bernie Saunders are at the top of my list of people who can fix this country’s mess.

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