The Write Way to Go Back to School

Every year, Poets and Writers Magazine comes out with what they call the MFA issue. Every year, I look through the pages and sigh. “I should really do that.” I tell myself. So I look at all of the programs, realizing they all have one thing in common.

To go on and get your master’s degree, you have to have a bachelor’s degree first. And I don’t. Surprised? Don’t be.

Wrong Major(s)

I graduated from high school with the aspiration to be a writer. As with many of my generation, my high school counselor found that quite amusing. “You’re really talented as a storyteller. But what will you do for a living?”

So because I excelled in math, I started at Arizona State University majoring in aeronautical engineering. There was only one minor problem: I hated engineering.

So I moved back to my home state of Idaho and started at Boise State University. There, I majored in women and beer. Pretty quickly I figured out I wasn’t in a degree program, and the career options were pretty low income, and not really desirable.

Wrong Turn(s)

Due to my choice in majors, I quit school, went to work, and got married young. Because sex feels good, kids soon followed. I never truly gave up. I went back to school several times, collecting many majors:

• English
• Astronomy
• Social Work
• Pastoral Studies
• Secondary Education
• History
• Library Sciences
• Business Management
• Philosophy

To go with my areas of study, I embarked on several career paths. Basically, I developed an extensive collection of name tags and hair nets from such jobs as:

• Grocery Clerk
• Dorm Manager, Salvation Army Homeless Shelter
• Jack in the Box Manager
• US Army Soldier
• Pizza Delivery Driver
• Newspaper delivery (not your local crap, but the Wall Street Journal)
• Warehouse Order Picker
• Dairy Worker
• FedEx Driver
• Ski Instructor
• Mountain Bike Trail Marshal
• Museum Exhibit Designer
• Construction Worker
• GIS Technician (Global Imaging Software)

I stopped telling people what I used to do. No one believed me. Invariably, in each field, someone thought I had a degree of one sort or another. I never corrected them.

Then I embarked on a career as an freelance author and editor. A great gig, working at home most of the time, with a twelve step commute and no need for programs by the same name. But  a divorce disrupted my career, and with primary custody of my son, I needed something different. Like a regular paycheck, and the ability to prove I made money.

I’ve changed my mind about that MFA. I’m more likely to go for an MA in writing and rhetoric so I may be able to go on for my doctorate someday. At least I can teach writing while I write. But first I need to get my bachelor’s.

Of course, I am a perfect example of a non-traditional student, with scattered credits and math skills now decades old. With a kid at home, freelance work, and a job, the best option seems to be embracing technology and attending classes online.

It’s almost like starting over, but I’ve finally decided what i want to be when I grow up. Now I just have to figure out how to go back to school the write way.