This Latest Threat Will Shock You

Prominent commentators are now questioning America’s policy of open immigration from Ireland. This concern started following a talk radio interview a retired Defense Department official gave while promoting his new book Wake Up America, Everyone Is A Threat. On the Mark Levin Show the author told listeners this:

“Look Mark, we’ve got all these people coming from Ireland and we know nothing about them. How do we know they’re not IRA members? How do we know that they’re not planning on settling their score with the English over here? One day you’ll go outside, start your car, and ….BOOM! But no one is talking about this. Here’s what my contacts have told me. The IRA is using Irish pubs around the US as training grounds. Those three guys sitting in the back of the pub, away from everyone else? Believe me, they’re not talking about football.”

According to this guy’s source, reported to be one of the people pictured above, IRA sleeper cells are planning to poison the green beer at Saint Paddy’s Day parades next year.

Following this explosive revelation, the topic quickly spread to the mainstream, entering the presidential race. Reached for comment, Ted Cruz said, “President Obama has said nothing about the Irish-American threat. This is no surprise. He obviously isn’t interested in protecting America.” Jeb Bush weighed in on the issue, saying “I’m fine with continued Irish immigration as long as those arriving can prove that they are Christian.” And Donald Trump has proposed requiring that all new immigrants from Ireland have a four-leaf-clover tattooed in the center of their forehead.

Academics are weighing in as well. Writing in the journal American Spectator, the conservative writer I.M. Soscared wrote “Let me sum up the Irish threat this way. Not all Irish are in the IRA, but all IRA members are Irish.” And fears are now entering into everyday society. In Henderson, Tennessee concerned citizens are planning to protest the opening of the What’re The Winds Telling Ya Laddie Bar and Grill.

Reached for comment on this distressing development, Paddy McDougal, president of the Irish-American Society, said “If anyone tries to repress my Irish-American brethren, I’ll bate the beef a ye.” No one reporting on the event had the slightest idea what that meant, but it did prove one thing — like most immigrants, the Irish have no desire to integrate into the larger American society.