Three Dislikes of Social Media

I came late to Facebook but was an early adopter of Twitter. Over the past several years I have navigated the ranks of many other social media networks. There are at least three reoccurring and aggravating phrases or practices that seem certain to show up in my timelines. I try to ignore them, however, my impulse to respond to them is getting so strong that I’m afraid I might actually do it someday. Therefore, as part of my therapy in regard to curbing the compulsion to respond to these moronic social media statements I am venting to the kind and understanding readers of HumorOutcasts.

I am asking all of my true friends who really care to repost this. I already know who you are. Please do not share, copy these words as a gesture of your support and post them in your time line for one hour.

Nothing like extorting your true friends through guilt to support your cause. How about copying and pasting this and shoving it?

Next to  a picture of a bloody and beaten Jesus on the ground is the caption, “Share if you would help Jesus up.”

Maybe we should just say a few prayers to Him for Him to help Himself up? After all, this seems like an adequate solution to the problems of mere mortals who have fallen down in life and need a little help up. There is nothing else like a prayer from those who have been blessed in life on behalf of all the poor and less fortunate that is guaranteed to raise the spirits of the day.

In the bio of some social-media-marketed pencil-necked geek, “I help people.”

People who really help people do not say, “I help people.” If you meet a paramedic at a dinner party and ask him, “So, what do you do?” his answer will be, “I’m a paramedic,” not “I help people.” The only people who say that they help people are people who are about to sell you something. In most cases this “help” will be in the form of some scheme promising to “help” you secure your financial freedom. All you will have to do is sign up and get more people to join underneath you.

Here you go! The people who help people can help Jesus up and then post a meme about it and ask all of their followers to repost it.

I might even “like” that one myself.