8 Rolling Stone Lyrics Made Age Appropriate | HumorOutcasts

8 Rolling Stone Lyrics Made Age Appropriate

November 10, 2016
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8 Rolling Stone Lyrics Made Age Appropriate

by Paul Lander

 

Just by adding “Oy Vey” to a ‘Rolling Stone’ lyric, the band sounds their actual age:

I can’t get no satisfaction, oy vey.

I met a gin soaked, bar-room queen in Memphis, oy vey.

You got rats on the west side, bed bugs uptown, what a mess, this town’s in tatters, oy vey.

Wild horses can’t drag us apart, oy vey.

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime you just might find, you get what you need, oy vey.

Some girls give me diamonds, some girls, heart attacks, some girls I give all my bread to, I don’t ever get it back, oy vey.

Love and hope and sex and dreams are still surviving on the streets, and look at me, I’m in tatters, I’m a shattered, oy vey.

You keep on telling me I ain’t your kind of man, ain’t I rough enough, ain’t I tough enough, ain’t I rich enough, in love enough, oy vey.

 

Paul Lander

Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of — winning the Nobel Peace Prize or sending Sudanese peace activist, Fatima Ahmed Ibrahim, to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of central Africa’s indigenous people. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has worked as a writer and/or producer for shows on ABC, NBC, Showtime, The Disney Channel, ABC Family, VH1, LOGO and Lifetime. In addition, he’s written standup material that’s been performed on “Fallon,” “Maher” “Letterman,” “Conan” and “Last Comic Standing.” His humor pieces have been accepted at American Bystander, McSweeney‘s, The New Yorker, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog, Santa Fe Writers Project Journal and Humor Times. He has won awards from the National Soc. of Newspaper Columnists, London’s Blogger’s Bash and Univ. of Dayton’s Bombeck Workshop. Now, on to Paul’s time commanding Special Forces in Khandahar…

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12 Responses to 8 Rolling Stone Lyrics Made Age Appropriate

  1. November 12, 2016 at 8:01 am

    Oy vey!

  2. November 11, 2016 at 2:16 pm

    I’ve been a Stones fan since I was a teen. Oy vey. Funny stuff!

    • Paul Lander
      November 11, 2016 at 10:57 pm

      The best part of being a Stones fan is we’re all holding up better than Keith

  3. Bill Spencer
    November 11, 2016 at 7:34 am

    The Stones are oldies but goodies.

    • Paul Lander
      November 11, 2016 at 12:40 pm

      Look for new album Some golden Girls

  4. Matthew Nisenoff
    November 10, 2016 at 10:48 pm

    Paul always brings the funny.
    Oy vey, it’s only rock-n-roll, but I like, I like, yes, I do.

    • Paul Lander
      November 11, 2016 at 12:39 pm

      And, then you threw out your back…

  5. Big John Richardson
    November 10, 2016 at 10:30 pm

    Paul Lander is one of my favorites! His work is hilarious! Can’t wait to see the next one!

    • Paul Lander
      November 11, 2016 at 12:40 pm

      Thank ya!

  6. Big John Richardson
    November 10, 2016 at 10:10 pm

    I really enjoy Paul Landee’s work! I can’t wait to see more!

  7. November 10, 2016 at 7:58 pm

    Oy Vey! The Stones unplugged – from their Life Alert systems?

    • Paul Lander
      November 11, 2016 at 12:43 pm

      Ha!



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