I have to say that I was confident that the Powerball win was mine. I saged my house, burned my best prosperity incense and meditated for days. Alas, the Universe has something better in mind for me. I have no choice but to be patient. What would I have done with that amazing amount of money? Well, I had it divided up between charities, entrepreneurial expansions, family, friends, my HO writers and authors, steak for the dogs and well…you get the idea. Now that I don’t have the burden of spending that $1.5 billion, I need to come up with new ways to make sure my dreams still come true, so here are my potential new plans.
Sing on a street corner: I know artists do this all the time, and they make enough for a few meals per performance, but my voice sucks and I cannot play the guitar. I think the odds are pretty good that people would throw lots and lots of money at me just to make me shut up. Upon further consideration, maybe I could be a mime?
Multi-Level Marketing: I could finally accept an invitation to join one of the passive income stream groups that harass me each day on Twitter. They all promise that I can rake in six or seven figures annually without working more than 20 hours per week. That sounds pretty cool. Hey, if they have millions of Twitter followers, they must be honest…right?
Waitressing: Don’t scoff. I did this in college and made out great with tips. Okay, I’m not 21 anymore, 
so subtract tip money for not looking 21, but I could be one of those servers who happens to wait on a celebrity or sports star who thinks (thinks being the operative word here), “Gee, she really did a good job. Let me leave her a $100,000 tip.” It could happen. If the Kardashians can become power people in Hollywood, I could get that tip.
Get a reality show on HGTV: Maybe, they could feature my husband and me doing our household renovation projects? Granted, they would have to bleep out all the times we say “F%&K!” when something goes wrong. In my estimation, they would get three seconds of solid, non-swearing family entertainment. Throw in a few commercials, and it’s an Emmy-nominated show.
Shark Tank: I could go on this show and convince those people to invest in HumorOutcasts.com and HOPress-Shorehouse Books. Maybe I could bring on some of my writers to help sell the idea? On second thought…let’s leave them at home. Those people on Shark Tank seem a bit too right for writers.
Pole Dancing: Hey, I took complimentary classes a few years back after I wrote an article on the “sport.” I could dig out my pole from the basement and do “speaking” gigs. I bet I would fetch maybe $10,000 or you know…$10 per gig? Again, not 21 anymore.
Anyway, I am up to explore my “Plan B” as author Mary Farr would say (shameless plug). I am open for suggestions as well as checks and money orders too. Wait, the Megamillions goes off on Friday. Yes, there is hope!
Rich people aren’t happy. My grandmother always used to tell me that, and she was always sure she was right about everything. So look at it this way. Now you can continue to be happy, without all those billions that would have made you miserable. Money isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Just keep telling yourself that. 😉
I told you before Don Don’s. Your hair is your fortune. Embrace it, sit back and watch the cash roll in!
I kept screwing up by not buying a ticket. *sigh*
Still, the fact that we’re both in the writing biz means we believe there are more important things than money, right? Um, right?
I look at money as energy. I have a healthy like of money. Without it, I couldn’t do HO or help other writers or artists. It is a necessary good but it doesn’t own me. I see nothing evil about wanting more or shooting for that goal. For the more I make, the more good I do. I keep the flow going. But a lottery win would just be nice!
Ah, if money is healthy, that explains why I’ve been unhealthy most of my life!
The Duchess of Windsor always said that a woman could never be too thin or too rich. What did that skinny home wrecker know?
Apparently enough to dethrone a king?
I have tried and tried to respond to this post. I wanted to enter the Shameless Plug Division, since I in the lottery losers clug. But no, I will just go Shower with whomesoever will contribute significantly to my bank account. I would leava link to Showering with Nana…but it won’t let me…so look up and to your write and click on that adorable cartoon of me!
Cathy, do you mean this link for SHOWERING WITH NANA? http://www.amazon.com/Showering-Nana-Confessions-Serial-Caregiver/dp/0692440410/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452823831&sr=8-1&keywords=Showering+with+Nana
Why yes, Donna, Yes I do? How crazy that you have that at your fingertips!
Let’s just face it, Donna, the world wasn’t ready for clever, witty, caring, gorgeous AND rich!
HA HA Diane! You always make me feel better!
Hmm… your Plan B woman is off to drive a John Deere gator full of horse doo doo– for 10 days, no less. I’m not sure you can count on wise counsel from her! Let’s go with the reality show!
Hey, my Plan B woman knows Plan B’s require courage and that is courage!
I didn’t win the lottery either but feel that when I found HumorOutcasts I hit the JACKPOT! As Leslie indicates, there are all kinds of riches other than money. HO has certainly made my life richer.
Ditto Bill.
But if I had won that stupid Powerball, think how much more I could have done with HO? Pooo! Oh well, but thank you Bill. You are so sweet.
Sorry to copy you and Mary Farr with a “shameless plug,” but if you lived in Trenton, you could also make a few extra bucks just by being ready! You’ll understand what I mean here http://www.lesliegoesboom.com/?paged=2.
Plus Donna, your dreams have already come true: loved, respected, successful….who needs money anyway? LOL
It’s fun to dream Leslie; fun to dream, but thanks for reading and commenting!!! I’ll check out the link.