Angel in the Way (from “Angel Pays a Visit”) | HumorOutcasts

Angel in the Way (from “Angel Pays a Visit”)

January 19, 2016
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When Angel pays a visit, it’s clear he’s just winging it.”

This spec script is based on the poetry books of Carolyn Elkins.

 

INT. CISSY’S HO– USE – KITCHEN – MORNING

Cissy comes into the kitchen in her bathrobe. Angel stands at the glass patio doors looking out. The cat lies at his feet but now has miniature angel wings.

CISSY

Angel! What’ve you done to the cat?!

ANGEL

Aren’t they great?

The cat looks around at Cissy.

CISSY

No. absolutely not. There’s no way I’m putting up with two of you. The cat wings have to go.

ANGEL

Really? Are you sure? They’re . . .

CISSY

I’m sure. Get rid of them.

ANGEL

As you wish.

The wings disappear.

CISSY

Thank you.

Cissy begins making coffee. Angel starts watching, moves ever closer until he’s in her space, annoyingly close.

CISSY

What are you doing?

ANGEL

I’m observing. I’m trying to understand you.

CISSY

OK, there are two things about me you need to understand. I need some space, at least a few feet‒and don’t try to talk to me before I’ve had my coffee.

ANGEL

OK, gotcha.

Cissy sneaks a cup, takes it into the living room around the corner and sits on the couch. In a few seconds Angel’s face peers around the corner spying on her.

Cissy sighs loudly in disgust. She gets up, goes down the hall to the bathroom; Angel follows closely. When Cissy starts into the bathroom and Angel is still following, she stops and turns on him.

CISSY

What do you think you’re doing?

ANGEL

I told you: I’m observing you.

CISSY

Not in here you’re not.

ANGEL

Why not?

CISSY

I need some privacy.

ANGEL

Why?

CISSY

Look, it’s too hard to explain. If you want to understand the whole human shame thing, you’re going to have to ask Adam and Eve.

ANGEL

OK, I will.

Angel instantly disappears.

CISSY

Finally, some privacy.

Cissy begins showering. After 5-10 seconds, she hears Angel’s disembodied voice overhead and instantly tries to cover herself with her arms.

ANGEL’S VOICE

Got it! It’s because you think your pleasure parts are disgusting, dirty, and ugly. I’ll leave you to it. . . . You missed a spot on your back.

CISSY

(exasperated)

Urrrrrr.

Bill Spencer

Bill Spencer's humor writing has been published by Funny Times, Narrative magazine, Reader's Digest, The Sun, The Inconsequential, Clever magazine, Defenestration, The Short Humour Site, Hobo Pancakes, and Nuthouse. He has also published scholarly articles on the novels of Cormac McCarthy and is co-author of an unproduced screenplay, "Angel Pays a Visit." He lives in a cabin in the mountains of North Carolina with his wife, artist-poet Carolyn Elkins.

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2 Responses to Angel in the Way (from “Angel Pays a Visit”)

  1. Bill Y Ledden
    January 21, 2016 at 2:48 pm

    You give so much to us Bill and we appreciate you so much. Please accept this little present from us to you: http://mondaypunday.com/263

    • Bill Spencer
      January 21, 2016 at 3:19 pm

      I love my present. I did figure out the visual pun correctly (on the first try) and enjoyed doing so. Thank you, Bill Y. You’re a good gift giver.



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