Angel’s Arrival (from “Angel Pays a Visit”) | HumorOutcasts

Angel’s Arrival (from “Angel Pays a Visit”)

January 12, 2016
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When Angel pays a visit, the comedy is divine.”

Angel Pays a Visit” is a spec script for a feature-length film based on the poetry books of Carolyn Elkins.

Previously: Kindergarten teacher and poet Cissy Aiken is suicidal after her young brother’s funeral.

 

INT. CISSY’S HO– USE – KITCHEN – DAY

CISSY

Oh God! I need help.

Overhead there is a vibration noise, then a rattling. Cissy looks up at the ceiling. There is a concussive, low-bass boom and a barely visible impact ripple along the ceiling. Followed by thrashing noises. Cissy turns off the gas, picks up the knife again, and heads to the hallway, where there’s a pull-down ladder into the attic. She listens to the noises for a few seconds, then slowly, fearfully pulls down the ladder, revealing bright light.

CISSY

Jesus!

She raises a hand to block the light.

CISSY

Hey! Whatever you are, get out of there! . . . I have a knife.

She pauses, then slowly climbs.

 

INT. ATTIC – CONTINUOUS

Cissy pokes her head up into the attic and at first is blinded by the light. Then she begins to see ANGEL, who is glowing, with wings open wide and cramped by the roofline. Angel is comically trying to control his wings. He’s startled but tries to be reassuring.

ANGEL

Be not afraid.

Cissy screams, drops the knife, backs down the ladder, and runs.

 

INT. KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

Angel is in the kitchen before Cissy. Dressed stylishly in white, he sits at the table sipping coffee. Cissy stops, wide-eyed.

ANGEL

Come here often?

Cissy runs out of the house.

 

EXT. CISSY’S DRIVEWAY – HER CAR – CONTINUOUS

Angel sits in the driver’s seat with his left arm nonchalantly out the window and his wings draping into the back seat. He wears a checkered cab hat. Cissy stops dead.

ANGEL

Where to, Lady?

Cissy visibly gives up, resigned to the probability that she’s insane.

CISSY

Crazy Town, I guess.

ANGEL

That’ll be a short trip, huh?

CISSY

I think I’m already there. . . . Who are you?

ANGEL

Don’t you mean, “What are you?”

CISSY

Yeah. OK. What are you?

ANGEL

I was hoping you’d ask that.

He gets out of the car, his wings fading from substance to just light. He leaps onto the car hood, clears his throat, straightens up his posture, and assumes a serious demeanor.

ANGEL (CONT’D)

And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy.

Angel stops and smiles, happy with his performance.

ANGEL

How was that?

A car drives by. The driver has a startled expression, but it’s clear that he does not see Angel’s wings; he sees only a man standing and gesturing theatrically on the hood of a car.

Cissy steadies herself against the car as her knees begin to falter.

CISSY

Oh my God. . . . Are you saying . . . I’m pregnant?

ANGEL

Nooo. No! I’ve been sent to help you.

CISSY

I’m not crazy?

ANGEL

Not crazier than anybody else.

Cissy turns toward the house in a daze.

CISSY

I’m going inside.

She goes to the house, passes the stray cat near the doorway, opens the door, turns around and Angel is miraculously right behind her.

CISSY (CONT’D)

Are you coming in?

ANGEL

Are you inviting me?

Cissy pauses and contemplates, then nods her head.

CISSY

Yes.

ANGEL

I’d love to.

Angel smiles, follows her in, and the door closes itself behind them. There’s a flash of bright light just before the door closes.

The stray cat pads over to the doorway, sits, looks up at the closed door, and sweetly meows. After a few seconds, Cissy opens the door.

CISSY

All right. I give up. You might as well come in, too.

The cat scampers in and Cissy closes the door.

Bill Spencer

Bill Spencer’s humor writing has been published by Funny Times, Narrative magazine, Reader’s Digest, The Sun, The Inconsequential, Clever magazine, Defenestration, The Short Humour Site, Hobo Pancakes, and Nuthouse. He has also published scholarly articles on the novels of Cormac McCarthy and is co-author of an unproduced screenplay, “Angel Pays a Visit.” He lives in a cabin in the mountains of North Carolina with his wife, artist-poet Carolyn Elkins.

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2 Responses to Angel’s Arrival (from “Angel Pays a Visit”)

  1. January 14, 2016 at 11:53 pm

    Well this is a teaser. That’s it? No more?

    • Bill Spencer
      January 15, 2016 at 6:04 am

      Angel plans to make some more brief visits on Fridays and Tuesdays.



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