Are You A Mystery? Or a Trashy Romance? | HumorOutcasts

Are You A Mystery? Or a Trashy Romance?

February 1, 2016
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A colleague recently posted an intriguing question on my favorite Face Book Librarian hangout: “If you were being sold in a library book sale, which table would you be on?”

books-922321__180

She had her first response within seconds:

Damaged.

Quickly followed by:

Mystery!
Adventure.
Bible stories. (I’m born again.)
True Crime (I work in a prison library.)
Humor books, of course. (They’re easy to read and you walk away smiling.)rozfrontcoverfinalfbevent

As more librarians got into the game, the comments poured in:

Withdrawn.
Inspirational. (I want to make a difference in the lives of others.)
Overlooked gems.
Bedtime stories.
Audio books. (I never shut up.)

A few responses were both insightful and descriptive:

I’m the book leveling out the table the other books are arranged on.

I’d be under the table, out of sight and forgotten, in a waterlogged box full of baby spiders.

But most of the comments were limited to a few quick words:

By: Tom

Staff picks.
Oddities.
Fantasy!
Trivia.
Self Help.
I’m a trashy romance!

Some answers would seem to reflect low self esteem:

Hurt.
Distressed.
Never checked out.
Fragile. Handle with Care.

Others, not so much:

Rare finds.
classicsClassics.
One-of-a-kind.
Valuable.

A few comments referenced the fact that some of us are getting on in years:

Old and unusual.
Used but useful.
Cover shows wear but contents still good.
Vintage and fabulous.

And then there were the librarians who walk on the wild side:

Banned Books.
DANGEROUS! ADULTS ONLY!
Forbidden… but alluring.
Sexy!
Cheap & Easy [snickers]

My very favorite response? (And entirely realistic, given this crowd?):

Scratched by cats.

In conclusion? One of the many joys of library work is having such clever, fun-loving colleagues. As far as I’m concerned, we’re all Rare Finds.

How about you? If you were a sale book, which table would you be on? Post your response in the Comments Section.

(Roz Warren is the author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR.) This piece first appeared on Zestnow.)

Roz Warren

Mild-mannered librarian and humorist Roz Warren writes for the New York Times, the Funny Times, the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Jewish Forward, the Christian Science Monitor and the Huffington Post. And she's been on both the Today Show and Morning Edition. Her latest humor book is OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: LIBRARY HUMOR. http://ow.ly/LpFgE

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2 Responses to Are You A Mystery? Or a Trashy Romance?

  1. February 2, 2016 at 4:33 pm

    An interesting read that’s funny and insightful, and with some parts you may want to skip over.

  2. February 2, 2016 at 5:24 am

    Well, I’d like to think I’d be in the humor section … I’m not romantic enough personally to be in the romances, and I’m sure not adventurous enough to be in most other categories.



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