David Mamet’s “My Mom’s F#$King Awesome Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe
With Thanksgiving just around the corner, celebrities everywhere will engage in that age-old past time of providing recipes to magazines and newspapers. In keeping with that tradition, we asked playwright and author, David Mamet, to provide us with an old family recipe for a classic Thanksgiving turkey. He provided us with, “My Mom’s F#$King Awesome Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe.”
List of Instructions for David Mamet’s “My Mom’s F@&king Awesome Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe”
Grab the Mother F@#$ing Turkey
Split the Friggin’ bird b@#$@es legs wide open
Stick the god damn stuffing up it’s F#@$ing A#$
Sprinkle on some seasoning you stupid B#$@%
Throw the C#$$ S@$(ing bird into the F@#$ing Oven
Sit your A#$ down
Pull the F#$@ing Turkey Out
Serve to your drunken pissant Mother F#@$ing relatives
You have to admit “Fuckin’ Ruthie, fuckin’ Ruthie, fuckin’ Ruthie, FUCKIN’ RUTHIE!” is a great opening line.
What about dessert?
Bill Spencer gets the prize for Funniest Comment of the Week!