Remember when there were grown-ups in the world? I remember when they would always tell me of the three things that were bound to happen to me. Whatever I did, I was either going to break my neck, catch pneumonia, or poke my eye out. Then I was told not to make a face because it would freeze that way. And I certainly couldn’t go swimming unless I waited at least a half an hour after I ate. The people doing all the telling were always larger than life, and somehow, it gave us comfort to believe that they were right.
There are still a few grown-ups that exist in the world. My mom is one of them. She still tells me about the three things that are going to happen to me, and I still want to believe that she’s always right. But the larger than life part, well I’m not so sure about that one. She’s an absolute two inches shorter than she was when I was a kid.
I’m 55 years old, but I’m still not a grown-up. I don’t repeat the three things that will happen to my children, and I go for my morning swim directly after breakfast every day. But I do wish mom had been right about my face freezing that way because then I’d have a wrinkle free face to go with my aging body, and I wouldn’t even have to pay for Botox to have it.