If I were to vote Republican in the U.S. election – which is to say, if I were to cut my eyelids off and serve them on crackers dabbed with couscous butter, to good friends, no less – I am told I should vote for John Kasich. The only reasonable choice among the GOP.
I was starting to believe this. I was ready to make Kasich my BFF.
Only now, BFF stand for best friend carrying a firearm.
Kasich wants to get rid of gun safety zones – gun-free areas where people aren’t allowed to carry and conceal weapons.
You know what? There might be an argument to be made against safety zones, given that every square inch of U.S. earth outside of those zones is teeming with gun-totting “second amendmenters”.
Damn him. He went on to say that he doesn’t want to infringe on people’s “God-given right to carry handguns…” (my italics)
Is this statement more profoundly stupid than anything Trump has said? It just may be.
Let’s think this through. I know that’s asking a lot from a Republican these days, but just for fun…
Does God carry and conceal? Why? He’s God.
Did God do His own background check? What did it turn up? Said applicant created a world where people suffer and die horrible, random deaths…oh, and some nice stuff happens too.
Why do you even need a background check if guns are a God-given right? You don’t need a licence to practice democracy, another God-given right.
Why did He create a world in which everyone needs a handgun, anyway? Or, why didn’t He hand down the gun to us in the Garden, when Adam had lots of time for target practice?
“Hey Eve, put that apple on your head.”
In the Sistine Chapel, when God is touching Adam’s hand, why isn’t He handing Adam a gun? All these missed opportunities.
Will I need a handgun in Heaven?
I guess this is God as Clint Eastwood…Do you feel lucky…well, do you?…punk?
Jesus must have carried too. Is that the bulge in his loin cloth? Why didn’t He use it against the Romans? Is there no more perfect time to defend oneself?
Let’s consider more earthly questions.
If God wants you to carry a handgun, doesn’t that mean the Second Amendment is handed down from God? Wouldn’t that mean the Constitution itself is also God-given?
The Koran, we are told, is also handed down from, um, a competing God…Allah.
Does Kasich have an ISIS licence? Is the U.S. a Caliphate?
I thought the Constitution was supposed to be a political document (not a holy script) written by rational MEN, not handed down from God. Separation of… well, you know.
Maybe the real tragedy is that everyone has a right to carry a microphone. Please, God-totting Kasich, conceal that microphone.
Apparently, God played a bigger part in the Constitution than he ever wanted. Religious nut jobs dragged him in and only when they drag him out again will we see some kind of peace or harmony or co-existence.
Agreed! He has enough to do. Like getting me the winning lotto ticket.
Funny thing about the Second Amendment: it protects the right to “keep and bear arms,” but it says NOTHING about AMMUNITION. So I propose that we severely regulate the sale and possession of ammo—which is NOT constitutionally protected. I foresee ammo’s being sold only in government-run stores (like ABC stores selling liquor).
Yes. That is the best solution. One could argue there are far too many guns out there for a ban to have any effect, but ammo runs out.