My Resolutions for 2017

Every one should have goals. Otherwise, how can we improve ourselves? Here are my resolutions for the new year.

1. Never eat lutefisk.
2. Never eat mushrooms.
3. Nap only when I’m asleep.
4. Understand my new cell phone.
5. Take advantage of the amazing healing properties of tacos.
6. Kill no one blocking the aisles in a supermarket with their cart.
7. Double my Slovenian vocabulary.
8. Understand my new cell phone.
9. Lose weight, gain weight, or stay the same.
10. Avoid fomenting revolution.
11. Do better on Dancing With the StarsTM or at least no worse.
12. Understand my new cell phone.
13. Read books.
14. Not get angry at other drivers. This will entail baby steps. I will start from the inside of my home and work my way up to the road.
15. Make a recipe from Croatia.
16. Understand my new cell phone.
17. Conduct more gravitational experiments. No, no, not the same thing as dropping things. Not the same thing at all.
18. Become one with a bubble bath.
19. Master tiramisu.
20. Understand my new cell phone.
21. Watch the last season of “How I Met Your Mother.” It’s good to see things through. Builds character.
22. Write in complete sentences.
23. Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut in half diagonally.
24. Understand my new cell phone.

Wish me luck.

Chef Paul