NYT: Trump Picks Palin as Veep | HumorOutcasts

NYT: Trump Picks Palin as Veep

January 20, 2016
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The New York Times says Donald Trump told them Sarah Palin would be his vice-president.

Well played, Mr. Trump, if you ever want an out all you have to say, as you did during the Republican debates, is “Hey, it’s the Times. They never get it right.” Having your cake and eating it, too, it seems. Get firebrand Sarah to stump for you, whip up the fans and then, if you want to dump her for a more electable running mate, you just say you told the Times Sarah would make a great VP, nothing about she being YOUR vice-president. After all, the NYT never gets it right.

But she is doing a hell-of-a-job stumping. Her rambling speeches are perfect, you betcha, lead ins that makes Trump’s incoherence seems plausibly coherent. And, man, can she play to the choir. Her champion of abstinence daughter, Bristol, getting knocked up again – Obama’s fault. Her woman battering son, Track, going off the track – Obama’s fault. Track hit that woman because Obama brought him home from the war too soon. Damn Obama. Dragging kids out of a war zone too early will cause that PTSD, you betcha.

We didn’t ask Sarah what were the causes for Track, as a teenager, to steal vodka from a liquor store or dismantle the electrical systems on school buses, or puncture their tires but I’m sure the Oral Roberts University crowd wanted to hear it was Obama’s fault even if it happened three years prior to him being president. If she had been asked, she could have given an answer they would have lapped up. Something like “You see, it’s cold in Alaska, something Obama having grown up in Hawaii or Kenya wouldn’t know anything about. My son, Track, he shut down the heating system for the buses because he wanted our hockey team to be tough. Heaters are for wimps, you betcha. And Obama is a pussyfooting wimp, y’know. So Track, he didn’t want our hockey team to be like Obama so that’s why in 2006, he sabotaged the school buses. Folks, let me ask ya, would you want your kid to be like Obama? Or would you want him to be a billionaire like Mr. Donald J. Trump? I’d want my kid to be a billionaire like Mr. Trump – start with $ 150 million, invest it well, build walls, get those illegal Mexcans  and those Muslims who want to kill us out of our country and then steal vodka if you feel it. You know Vodka, that’s not even American. We should steal it if we feel like it. It’s made in Russia, which I can see from my home, and if they are going to try selling alcohol in our country, we can steal it.

 

Stan Silliman

Sports writer for 13 years, my Bleacher Report articles in USA Today, LA Times, Forbes, Dallas Morning News. Seven books, 6000 jokes, 860 columns written. Also very active on a website called Kwipster. I've writtens for comics and cartoonists. Samples of some of my cartoon/humor books can be seen at www.comedyempirepress.com I'm also a comedian with regular appearances in New York, Dallas, Austin, Oklahoma City and Las Vegas. If I ever get on cruise ships, I'll let you know.

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2 Responses to NYT: Trump Picks Palin as Veep

  1. January 21, 2016 at 4:21 pm

    It’s Saturday Night Live being played right before our eyes. Thinking back to Dan Ackroyd and Jane Curtain we can’t wait for Trump/Clinton debates where Trump screams “Hillary, you ignorant slut.”

  2. January 20, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    Being the sole Republican in the universe (it seems), all I can say is that the trail of dead bodies, corrupt charities, consorting with Muslim terrorists and the lies lies lies make Hillary the #1 choice for President. You see, I can’t blame Obama for her!



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