Simple Jordanian Hummus and Culinary Law

Hummus-

SIMPLE HUMMUS

INGREDIENTSHummus-

2 cans chick peas (keep liquid)
2 garlic cloves
3 tablespoons lemon juice
¼ cup olive oil
¾ cup tahini
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

Makes 5 cups. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add all ingredients to blender. Blend on medium setting until smooth. If your hummus is watery, add tahini. If it is too thick, add water and olive oil. This is a forgiving recipe. You can add more of each ingredient until the hummus is the way you like it. Hummus goes well with pita bread.

TIDBITS

1) It’s more authentic to smash up the chick peas with a mortar and pestle. If guests complain about you using a blender, point to the title of this dish, “Simple Hummus.” Suppose your guests also say, “You shouldn’t use canned chick peas. You need to boil dried chick peas.” Warn them. Right away. “I am the cook. You are in my kitchen.” This proclamation invokes culinary law which is superior to civil law. (See Courgette v Rhode Island.) This decision empowers you to mete out any punishment necessary to restore order in all rooms in the house dealing with food.)

2) Your death defying quests might continue with, “Why didn’t you make your own tahini?” You know have three choices.

3) One. Back down. Please don’t this. The prestige of the entire culinary community world will suffer irreparable damage. Customers will charge into a restaurant’s kitchen armed with the steak knives found on their table every time their rib eyes aren’t done to their liking.

4) Two. Force them out of your house with an electric cattle prod. This is a safe, respectable, middle-ground response.

5) Three. Zap the clods into oblivion with your sonic obliterator, an essential item in any serious kitchen. A strong response to be sure, but these unruly guests will never again bother any chef. Yay.

Chef PaulDeLanceyPaul

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com

 

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2 thoughts on “Simple Jordanian Hummus and Culinary Law”

  1. Everyone should have a sonic obliterator. My stress levels have gone down markedly since I got one. Can’t say more, way too public a forum. What your Target doesn’t have one? They have everything.

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