Stop the Snow

Mark R Hunter

This has been a mild winter for us, and spring seems to have come as an early, unexpected (and probably temporary) surprise. But to remember how it usually is, and will be again, I wrote some new lyrics to the song from Frozen, “Let It Go”. I know what you’re thinking: “Why, Mark? Why?” Good question—I don’t even find it easy. The original lyrics can be found here:
http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Let_It_Go
But I present you with: “Stop the Snow”

 

The snow’s piled high almost to my thigh
It’s so cold I want to scream
No sign of spring salvation
I’m stuck in a snow globe dream

The wind howls through windows, bringing swirling snow inside
Couldn’t keep it out, plastic sheets I tried

Let the dog in, his frozen pee
Is an icicle I never want to see
My hands can’t feel—this weather blows
Thanks to the snow

Stop the snow, stop the snow
Can’t get my car unstuck
If I had enough dough
I’d move away from all this yuck
I know just what the forecasts say
Get your storm rage on
I’m stuck in my drive anyway.

It’s funny how this temperature
makes everything seem blue
And if you don’t see the misery
there’s something wrong with you
It’s time to go and break the ice
To start the car, oh please play nice
No lights, no juice, not to be rude
I’m screwed

Stop the snow, stop the snow
Just one day when it’s warm and dry
Car won’t go in the snow
Ice falls down from tears I cry
Here I push in four foot drifts
Till my hands freeze on …

A patch of ice takes me to the ground
Underneath the snow it’s all cold, dead and brown
And one thought penetrates my frozen brain
Summer’s not so bad—I don’t mind the rain

Stop the snow, stop the snow
My car’s buried in five foot drifts
I can’t feel, my own toes
I’ll never make it to my shift
My hands are blue and my face is white
I could use a lift
But the snow plow buries and passes by.

Snow Plow
Let’s see Elsa’s castle stand up to this.
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11 thoughts on “Stop the Snow”

    1. You’re not the only one … but you’re *almost* the only one.

      In all seriousness, that’s one of the dangers of making a parody song: If you follow the original exactly, people who know the song will get it instantly–but people who don’t might be mystified.

  2. Garrison Keillor says this is why writers write. They spend so many months locked in the house away from the snow and cold. That would be you!

  3. To be sung to the tune of “Down in the Valley:”

    Down in the garden,
    Flowering and bright,
    Hayfever awaits me,
    With all of its might!

    Springtime came early,
    Oh me! Oh my!
    For I am not ready
    To sniffle and die!

  5. Many are cold, but few are frozen.

    With lyrics like these, you oughta be in snow business.

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