Dating in your twenties is all about the excitement. Or about how good of a story you can get out of it. But by thirty, you really just want to be with someone who gets you.
*popping a bottle of medium priced sparkling wine that we’ve agreed to pretend is real Champagne* “Let’s drink this while watching the first season of Downton Abbey in our sweats.”
“I washed your sexy underwear for you. On delicates. And I didn’t put them in the dryer this time.”
“I filled up your gas tank and changed your oil.”
*spend 3 months finagling reservation at hot new restaurant. buy new designer duds for the event. mutually agree the night of to cancel and order takeout*
“My bra matches my underwear.”
“I ran the dishwasher.”
“I emptied the dishwasher.”
*receive invitation to mutual acquaintance’s wedding. agree to regift hideous tablecloth given by great-aunt. get free chicken kiev and open bar for the effort*
“Target’s having a sale.”
“Do you want to go to the midnight release party for The Cursed Child?”
“Did you use the apple-scented Gain on that sweater?”
I just switched to Gain….for obvious reasons, I’m trying to reignite the romance!
Emptying the dishwasher is what you make it.
Just wait’ll you’re in your fifties…the romance is even steamier (because you’re having hot flashes). In your sixties, the noise you make in the bedroom will shake the walls (snoring, flatulence). And getting it on at night likely means donning a sleep mask, ear plugs and a dental guard.
Sexy. Can’t wait.
Whatever brings out the romance! And Gain is known as an aphrodisiac! I read that…I swear