The FedEx Universe

Yesterday I asked the universe for a well-paying job that I would love to do.

I was using the modern-day philosophy, which states that you ask the universe to deliver something to you (sending out your intention), then you go about your business, the universe mulls it over and eventually comes through on the order.

This is the universe as FedEx. It makes complete sense in this modern age of having everything delivered to us so quickly. We get texts and furniture and clothes delivered to us all the time. Why wouldn’t the entire universe work this way?

Is this really how the universe rolls? Is it just one big courier company for human desires?

Inconclusive.

What about the guy who orders a nice house in a fancy neighbourhood and instead gets delivered a motorcycle accident where he loses his leg. Does he have any recourse for the incorrect delivery? Is there some kind of tracking number for orders?

“Excuse me, I think the guy down the street ordered the motorcycle accident. I wanted the house!?”

Who knows – it could really be a FedEx universe. But I’m pretty sure things didn’t work that way for the early “homos”, all the “homos” that came before “sapien”.

I’m willing to bet Erectus didn’t ask the universe to be wiped off the face of the earth. He must have enjoyed being alive, walking around with an erection all the time as he did. For the life of me I don’t understand why Viagra doesn’t use one of these extinct fellows in an ad.

So why did it only start with humans?

Infrastructure is what I’m thinking. It takes a lot of time, money and work to set up a system that caters to every human whim.

I’m still waiting for my order. Probably just a backlog.