Top 9 Weight Loss Pet Peeves | HumorOutcasts

Top 9 Weight Loss Pet Peeves

August 16, 2016
By
Scale

Aacckk!

I lost a significant amount of weight a few years ago.  For the most part, I’ve kept it off.  While I was, and still am, losing weight, I noticed that I began to have a major aversion to certain words, phrases, and questions.

1) Journey:  People always ask me how my weight loss journey is going.  People!  If I’m going on a journey, I promise, I will tell you all about it, and it will be a whole lot more fun than celery and exercise, and it will involve sun, chocolate, and tropical drinks.

2) Lifestyle Change:  Yes, I realize that I had to stop thinking I was going on a diet, and I had to start changing some of my habits.  But to me, this was not, I repeat NOT, a total lifestyle change.  I’ve had no sex change operations and I’m still married to the same guy…not that I object to those sorts of things… you know, marrying outside of my sex.

3) Can you eat that?:  Yes. Can you?

4) How did you do it?: This question seems to always get asked completely out of context.  For example, I’ll be in a lady’s room washing my hands when someone will come up and ask me this question. Although, they were the ones that did ask me, I thought it might be TMI if I answered by telling them we first turned out the lights and then removed our clothes.

5) Didn’t you ever cheat?:   Of course not, but isn’t that between me and my husband?

6) Body Image:  People seem to think that I first had to accept my body as it was in order to move towards weight loss.  I did.  I accepted that I was fat, unhealthy, and had to shop in a fat lady store for clothes.  When I looked in a mirror, the image I saw was fat.

7) You Are What You Eat: I could go on for hours on this one.  If I am what I eat, then you’ll see me eating a skinny person for my next meal.  If I am what I eat, I’ll take mine tall, 36x26x36 and wrinkle free with a side of perfect teeth and naturally long eye lashes, thank you.

8) Miracle Weight Loss: Okey dokey.  So you must be the wealthiest person on the planet if you have a true weight loss miracle cure for obesity.  We fat people know how to spread things, so if there really was a miracle cure for obesity, we’d be the first to be spreading the word!

9) Diet:  Let me correct you now and forever more.  The word diet is supposed to mean some type of food plan-usually referencing a restrictive food plan of some sort.  In actuality, the word DIET is an acronym for did I eat that?  The answer:  yes, yes I did.

Leslie Handler

Leslie is an internationally syndicated columnist for Senior Wire and a 2015 Society of Newspaper Columnists award winner. She is a frequent contributor to WHYY's Newsworks, has written for The Philadelphia Inquirer, ZestNow, and Boomercafe, as well as blogs for The Huffington Post. She has a Bachelor of Journalism degree and currently lives smack dab between Philadelphia and New York City with husband Marty, dogs Maggie, Hazel, and Ginger, a collection of fish, said husband's cockatoo who she's been trying to roast for dinner for the last 31 years, and a few occasional uninvited guests. You may follow her blog and read published essays at: LeslieGoesBoom.com. Her first book, a collection of essays, publishes by HO/Shorehouse Press Spring, 2018.

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2 Responses to Top 9 Weight Loss Pet Peeves

  1. August 19, 2016 at 8:04 pm

    There is a weight loss system called the 3 week diet it is an amazing one of a kind program it helped me get rid of the baby fat that i aquired after giving birth and struggling for months to lose that weight. I have a the link for anyone wanting to try it out here http://www.clkmg.com/cblnk/the3weekdiet

  2. August 19, 2016 at 8:15 am

    Is it okay to say congrats and well-done? 🙂 Your “journey” isn’t easy, and your commitment is admirable. And you obviously haven’t lost your sense of humor!



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