Trump + Pecker = Dirtiest Campaign Ever? | HumorOutcasts

Trump + Pecker = Dirtiest Campaign Ever?

March 30, 2016
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All these candidates have been sniped at – sexual innuendos, accusations of drug use, child neglect, etc – by the biggest media sniper of them all, The National Enquirer, and all the behest of or the benefit of Donald Trump by a Pecker, named David.

If you’ve been at a grocery store, you’ve seen these headlines:
The one that says “IT’S OVER FOR PERVY TED”

Or this one:

where the headline reads “BRAIN DAMAGED BILL VIOLATES ELECTION LAWS”

Or lots of other National Enquirer headlines like this:

“Homewrecker Carly Fiorina Lied About Druggie Daughter”

“Bungling Surgeon Ben Carson Left Sponge in Patient’s Brain!”

“‘Family Man’ Marco Rubio’s Love Child Stunner!”

“Governor Mike Huckabee and The Hooker”

“Jeb Bush Snorted Cocaine On Night His Dad Became President!”

“Senator Marco Rubio’s Cocaine Connection!”

All these headlines ran in the Enquirer. What do the subjects have in common? They opposed Donald Trump, the Enquirer’s handpicked candidate.  Or shall we say David Pecker’s (the CEO of the Enquirer and frequent visitor to Trump’s Palm Beach parties and events) hand picked candidate. Trump and Pecker are known friends, both grew up in New York at the same time. David’s mason dad worked on some of Fred Trump’s projects. If Trump gets elected expect the Enquirer to handle his presidency as they’ve handled his campaign, with kid gloves.

It’s ridiculous … why the New York Daily News hasn’t exposed this and ran their own spurious headlines. Things like:

“PECKER BACKS DICK FOR PRESIDENT!”

“TRUMP — USES PECKER TO SACK CARLY FIORINA!”

“TRUMP SENDS PECKER TO REAR END CRUZ!”

“TRUMP GETS DOWN AND DIRTY, — USES PECKER AGAINST BUSH”

“TRUMP’S PECKER RUNS SLEEPY BEN’S SPONGE STORY”

“TRUMP AND PECKER WHIPS OUT HUCKABEE HOOKER STORY”

Is that too much, excessively silly? No, this is what this year’s campaign has come down to. No issues, just a big pissing contest. The NY Post and the New York Daily News, papers which know Trump the best and hate him the worst can’t allow a sleazy tabloid to determine this election, especially one from Florida. If any sleazy tabloids should sway the election, it ought to be the New York sleazy tabloids. There, I gave you headline ideas, Post and News, run with them and don’t try to tell me they’re childish dick jokes. These are very much adult dick jokes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stan Silliman

Sports writer for 13 years, my Bleacher Report articles in USA Today, LA Times, Forbes, Dallas Morning News. Seven books, 6000 jokes, 860 columns written. Also very active on a website called Kwipster. I've writtens for comics and cartoonists. Samples of some of my cartoon/humor books can be seen at www.comedyempirepress.com I'm also a comedian with regular appearances in New York, Dallas, Austin, Oklahoma City and Las Vegas. If I ever get on cruise ships, I'll let you know.

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