6-year-old: When I get married, do I have to take his last name?
Me: You can use whatever last name you want.
6: Mine will be Darth Vader.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 7, 2016
My kids lost a Barbie shoe.
I dug in the trash and found one.
It was from a set they didn't know was missing
Now I'm looking for 2 shoes.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 7, 2016
I tried to explain Pokémon to my 4-year-old.
After hearing myself say it out loud, I'm pretty sure I ruined both of our childhoods.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 8, 2016
6-year-old: We don't have enough horses.
Me: We don't have any horses.
6: See the problem?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 7, 2016
Me: What do you want for dinner?
Wife: Anything.
Me: Anything?
Wife: Literally anything.
Me: *makes tacos*
Wife: Anything but that.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 7, 2016
You seem outmatched here!
That’s one dumb wife.
That’s one smart six year old.