I read an article on LinkedIn called 7 Secrets to Make People Instantly Like You.
Instantly? Why the rush? Do you also need instant coffee?
I usually give people a few minutes to like me. As I see it, liking me is kind of like enjoying liver. No one “instantly” likes eating liver. But then suddenly you love it.
When I was younger I gave people an hour because I had lots of time left to live.
If I meet someone really old, they get a few seconds because they have less time to live.
Adjusting for different time zones is tricky and synchronizing watches is a bitch.
I once got in a fight with someone on a plane because she thought we crossed the International Date Line and claimed it took her 24 hours plus a few minutes to like me.
Bollocks, I said. You liked me on first sight. We ended up dating.
Alas, in the end almost everyone likes me very much.
For those few who can’t manage to like me, I give them cash to like me.
Some call them hookers.
I “liked” the post.
and the post likes me, I think.
Can I like you next week? I have a few other people to like ahead of you. 😉
I’ll book you in.
Your mind is way too complicated for me. I will just like you now and be done with it dammit!
If you could wait a few minutes and then like me, that would be better.