Achmed and Mamood’s Statue Toppling and Hauling Services | HumorOutcasts

Achmed and Mamood’s Statue Toppling and Hauling Services

October 22, 2017
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From www.craigslist.com/services/ConfederateStates

**SERVICES FOR HIRE *** CHEAP!!! **** EFFICIENT!!! *** WE COME TO YOU!!!***

HELLO, FORMER CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA!!

ACHMED AND MAMOOD HERE!!  WE ARE BROTHERS FROM BAGHDAD. IN IRAQ.

Your GREAT COUNTRY  removed the horrible dictator Saddam Hussein from our country and this earth. FOR WHICH WE SAY A HARDY SHUKRAAN!!!

After the fall of Saddam all Iraqis DERIVED MUCH PLEASURE  in pulling down all the statues of Saddam. There were many. AND WE DID MORE THAN A FEW OURSELVES!!!  See the picture below.

 

Thanks to our work as translators for your Army and our S.I.V. visas, we are now proud residents of the United States of America!

We want to Make America Great Again* by helping you tear down all of your Confederate statues. We also have lots of strong rope. And we have old truck purchased from Saddam’s Presidential Guard. See picture below. There may be some minor damage of IED but she runs great!!

Mamood has a degree in structural engineering from the University of Baghdad. We can determine correct calculation of rope strength, where to place rope, and total speed to pull down your statue in the most efficient and safest way possible! We have never pulled the statue down on a person!

We are full service too. Along with pulling down your statue we can haul off the broken pieces. Call for pricing!

We are bonded and have insurance!

References are available from Libya and Syria.

Please call 888-334-5467. We will come to you!

*We support you, Mr. Trump. Please don’t deport us. We make jobs. God bless USA!

Terry Wellman

Texas-born, Terry now lives in Orange County, CA, where he is on a first name basis with Harry Hamlin’s eyebrows, which often babysit his two sons. When not working as a much sought after hand and foot model, Terry is working on his memoirs from his time as landscaper to the stars, “You’ll Never Mow and Blow in this Town Again.”

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One Response to Achmed and Mamood’s Statue Toppling and Hauling Services

  1. October 23, 2017 at 2:43 am

    There’s always someone ready to fill those little economic niches that pop up!



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