Auto-correction Has a Dirty Mind

Is it just me or do you find
in auto-correct a dirty mind?
There seems to be no phrase it won’t pervert.
It’s substituting ‘limb’ for ‘lime’
and ‘hard’ for ‘had’ and ‘clit’ for ‘climb’ —
I’ve had enough of auto-correction’s shirt.

I understand when it can’t tell
a ‘there’ from ‘their’ or ‘they’re’, as well,
but when it changes ‘inset’ to ‘insert’
it seems there’s something going on
that hints of lack of rapprochement.
I’ve had enough of auto-correction’s shirt.

I smile when it puts ‘dame’ for ‘dumb’
or ‘cock’ for ‘clock’ or ‘cum’ for ‘gum’,
or even offers ‘desert’ for ‘dessert’;
but ‘ho’ for ‘go’ or ‘whore’ for ‘who’re’
have made my texts look like a sewer.
I’ve had enough of auto-correction’s shirt.

Of course some common typos crepe
in any text, but when I rape
what spell-check sows, I want the thing to quirt;
‘I’ve got a scar’, not ‘gotta score’ —
it’s jest not funny any more! —
I’ve had enough of auto-correction’s shirt.

I didn’t say ‘I like your hate’
or ‘like you hot’ or ‘lick your mate’
and why when I type ‘squint’ does it print ‘squirt’?
Coincidence does not explain
‘I’ll bring the paint’ to ‘bring the pain’
I’ve had enough of auto-correction’s shirt.

L’envoi
 Programmers! Chick you’re Al Gore rhythm —
some find it cute, but I’m not with ’em —
the tome has cam for you to re-ass hurt
control — though gramma may be hard —
I’m ‘married’ but I am not ‘marred’!
I’ve had enough of auto-correction’s shirt.

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