Bookmarks From Hell — A List of Unsavory, Alarming and Downright Nasty Things Librarians Have Recently Found in Library Books | HumorOutcasts

Bookmarks From Hell — A List of Unsavory, Alarming and Downright Nasty Things Librarians Have Recently Found in Library Books

July 24, 2017
By

A dead frog
A used band-aid
A squashed and leaking Ketchup packet.
Bedbugs
A tampon
Toe nail clippings
Dozens of baby roaches
A slice of bacon
Boogers
A used Q-Tip
A used condom (and it was in a Bible!)
A grilled cheese sandwich
Dental Floss
Used Kleenex
Toilet Paper (and this happens ALL the time…)
Pubic hair
An ad for lap dances (in a children’s book!)
Questionable food stains
A dirty diaper
Pornographic photos
A slice of bologna

Attention Library patrons!  The next time you’re tempted to mark your place in one of our books with insects,  snack food, porn or anything that used to be part of your body? Please do us library workers a big favor and  JUST DOG-EAR THE #@$%PAGE!

(Roz Warren  is the author of Our Bodies Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor and  Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library: An Insider Looks At Library Life.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roz Warren

Roz Warren writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times and has been featured on both Morning Edition and The Today Show. Her latest book is JUST ANOTHER DAY AT YOUR LOCAL PUBLIC LIBRARY: AN INSIDER LOOKS AT LIBRARY LIFE.

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7 Responses to Bookmarks From Hell — A List of Unsavory, Alarming and Downright Nasty Things Librarians Have Recently Found in Library Books

  1. Jim Sullivan
    July 27, 2017 at 12:03 pm

    Wow. I’m not the type to say “Ewwww!”, but “Ewwww!”

  2. Mickey M.
    July 27, 2017 at 10:47 am

    Why is it that books get no respect, not to mention the people who will be reading them after they are turn in?! Ewwwww! Some things are just NOT funny. Thank you, Roz. Dog eared pages are right up there with the other list but yes, at least they aren’t ewwwww!

    • Mickey M.
      July 27, 2017 at 10:48 am

      I meant “turned”! Sorry, so grossed out that I had the typo.

  3. July 26, 2017 at 7:30 am

    The snotty tissues would make my daughter gag when we found them. LOL People are sometimes too gross.

  4. July 25, 2017 at 9:04 pm

    That’s why I wash my hands after every trip to the library!

  5. July 25, 2017 at 5:58 pm

    If I read this post every time I want to take a bite of food, I will lose 50 pounds in no time! 😀

  6. Bill Spencer
    July 25, 2017 at 7:11 am

    Back when I taught Whitman, I used a long, dried blade of Bermuda grass as a bookmark.



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